Reverse Harems

First of all, I want to take the time to acknowledge a comment made concerning this blog. I found this piece of work written on Skype while I was away.

Well played, my friend, well played.

Yes, one of my friends was advertising this blog (thank you so much by the way), and I get this attitude. Come back when it's same haired zombie lesbians. The nerve.

And one of the first links in my Google search (other than vast amounts of hentai) was this:

Warning: This video contains female to female action. Avert your eyes, innocent children.

I don't know if they're zombies, but they almost have the same hairstyle. Got the girl on girl action down. That should be good enough. Unless he was talking about rotting zombie girl on girl action. You're on your own there, buddy.

And while I was snooping around zombie anime, I found this as well:

Oh anime, I barely watch you anymore but you always make me laugh with your ridiculousness. (Make no mistake--that's his arm in his pants.)

Okay, reverse harems. I love the thought of having a bunch of good-looking men chase after me. So I can understand women who want to live vicariously through the female protagonist. I am one of them.


What I don't understand is when the female protagonist goes through all the motions of a relationship--finding out the guy's sad past and/or challenge in life, helping him through it despite him being a douche, even meeting his family, him falling in love and her giving him the "I care about you" speech--but still does not get together with any of the guys. Oh for the love of god.

Yes, friendships don't always flourish into romantic relationships. And both women and men aren't obligated to return someone's affection, but since it's fiction, the build-up doesn't make any sense to me. It's like I'm watching a girl play Pokemon with guys--make the guy googly eyed and once she has him, whoops, time to move to the next one! "Sorry, I only have room for six, I'm going to have to put you in the storage."

La Corda d'Oro: "I have fabulous long hair to make you think I'm the gentle one, but really I'm a prick."

When I ranted my lungs out told Sylphalchemist about all this bullshit, she shrugged. Apparently, some reverse harems start off as video games, and fans like unofficial pairings so they can run off and write their fanfiction, draw their fanart to upload onto Deviantart and Photobucket. Have imaginary conversations with the characters, congratulating them for the pairing's imaginary wedding.

But don't fans already do that? A character just needs to appear for two seconds to be included in some crazy threesome, different gender or same species need not apply. Nope, some people would rather have open endings than a pairing that isn't their OTP.

One thing I can count on though when it comes to reverse harems--if the main character gets with anybody, it will be the first guy she meets out of the bishie boy harem. It makes sense in the world of shoujo.

Same goes for male protagonists too.

Which brings me to the strangest, most disturbing reverse harem manga I've ever read, Gakuen Ouji.

Don't be fooled by their smiling faces. There is no happiness.

The manga is set in a typical rich private school where the uniforms probably cost an average person's monthly food budget. Female protagonist is late as usual but manages to get in before the gates close. She passes by the new transfer student, Mizutani Azuki. He's on his way to meet the school president. She tilts his chin up and gives him a creepy look. Then tells him to find someone named Munechika. Dude's like "okay, whatever, I'm just gonna leave before your head bursts into spiders," and decides to go to class. But as he rounds the corner, he hears someone crying for help. He shoos a gang of girls away to reveal this:

While Mizutani comforts the distressed boy, wondering what the hell's going on, it switches back to the main female whose name is revealed to be Okitsu. Girls are bullying her, saying how while she may be smart, she still didn't get into the S Class. They theorize that it's probably because she's ugly. And by ugly, meaning she's got glasses and styles her hair into two low pigtails. Oh she's hideous. Back to Mizutani walking into said S Class. Everybody goes quiet. Luckily for him, the class representative introduces himself to break the silence.

Mizutani: Are you Munechika?
Class Rep: Nah, nah, I'm Yasuda. Hey does anybody know where Munechika is?
Cute Shota Boy who must have skipped grades: Nope, I don't know where he is. Oh the transfer student!

"This is where my boobs would go if I were a girl."

Two other guys come in, one short dude with shark teeth who's so obviously not in the reverse harem and a bishie named Akamaru. Nobody knows where Munechika is so the author hints that he's in a classroom having desk sex with a girl with carefully cropped pictures. Munechika's walking down the hallway and the class rep is relieved to find him. Mizutani at this point doesn't give a shit anymore even though Munechika's talking to him. Munechika asks if he has a girlfriend.

Mizutani: None of your business.
Munechika: *licks his neck*
Mizutani: What the heck?
Munechika: Keep being vulnerable like that. And you're gonna get raped.
Me: *rechecks the tags* Nope, still Shoujo.

Class starts and Mizutani's zoning out a bit, wondering what in god's name does he mean when a girl accidentally drops a piece of paper next to his desk. It's full of compliments on how handsome he is. Then he reads further.

"So when are we gonna do him?"

They're planning on raping him. Someone even writes that they have rope and another asks if anyone has a camera. Munechika whispers, "Your strength as a male won't work. These girls are really horny. You've got a few choices--be like Shota Boy who's so pure, women won't touch him 'cause he's a special flower, don't reject anybody and become a player, vow your chastity to one girl, or be like me, have sex with every girl. Next break's going to be your 'baptism'. It's up to you to enjoy it or not. Just don't get anybody pregnant."

Really? Dear god, if the genders were reversed, this would be a hentai with an extra 'x' to close the window.

Mizutani remembers the boy he helped earlier and decides, "No fuck this shit. I'm not going to become like that." The bell rings. He sprints.

"Well I'll be damned. Guess those STDs could have been prevented."

The girls from Okitsu's class hear the stampede of S Class girls, and run out to confront them.

Girls from Okitsu's Class: Stop hogging all the men.
S Class Girls: You should have the leftovers. *refers to short boy with shark teeth* (Ugh, damn horny teenaged girls.)

They start fighting and Okitsu takes cover in what I assume is a storage closet. She has a flashback of girls bullying her because a guy liked her. Mizutani shuffles in, out of breath and tries to call his dad to yell at him for sending him to this crazy school.

Dad hangs up on him. Mizutani throws his cellphone in frustration which hits Okitsu in the head.

Mizutani: Oh mah gawd, a girl! *menacing point*
Okitsu: I have nothing to do with this! I'm not like the other girls who make humpday everyday. I have no interest in fighting over you.
Gang of girls: Aha! Mizutani we know you're in there!

Mizutani has a light bulb moment.

"Only if you all start being women instead of being whores."

Scholarly me: Breaking her own glasses in this clumsy instance signifies a paradigm shift.

Regular me: Shit just got real.

And that's the end of Chapter 1. Tune in next time to see more horny girls try to rape him.

And...that is a taser.

And other guys are drugging him.

Why the fuck aren't you on his side?

Where the hell are the teachers, you ask? In this manga, the teachers are too dumb to realize what's going on. Or at least from what I've read so far. Though I wouldn't hold my breath for some intervention from the school administration. And I don't see any parents either. Of course. They're probably filming it all as part of a reality show. Or this school is an official set of the porn industry.

And back to Shounen. Get some ridiculous surprise twist that doesn't involve sex, and part twelve of a fighting scene that's lasted for the past three months. Oh and South Park.

I love that show so much.

Credits: Project Noir