Vampires are the New Crocs

Vampires. I feel sad that I will now forever associate the word with a book that shall not be named. My childhood's screaming at me. Vampires are no longer presented as pure blood lusting creatures of the night, with an appearance cursed by God's almighty foot. No, they're now fancy Frenchmen and a five year old's craft projects.

"This is the last time I get wasted in the morgue."

The only thing that comforts me are the parodies. And okay, I don't mind so much that authors have written them as attractive people with 'otherworldly beauty'. But they've added so much high school level drama, which doesn't make any sense because these vampires are supposedly 145 years old, give or take a few decades. Makes me want to slap all the teenagers (and middle aged ladies) tattooing themselves with their favorite quotes they found on Facebook and scream, "You! This all your fault!" But hey, that's what teenagers love and I don't blame the writers for wanting to rake in some cash to pay the rent (and buy a mansion or two).